A New Purpose
by meixel
Summary: Set shortly after the end of the fifth season, Mike has his hands full with the unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything to do with TSOSF and I make no profit from my fan fic endeavors. All writing is done for fun, enjoyment and skill improvement.

* * *

A New Purpose

It was the spring following the Tannenger trial, the tragic event that placed a hole in the heart of Inspector Steve Keller and an exclamation point at the end of his six year career with the San Francisco Police Department. As a much sought after addition to the University of California - Berkeley Criminology Department, Keller moved on to a new professional life. His former partner, Lieutenant Mike Stone moved on as well, now mentoring another young man, Inspector Dan Robbins who, while similar in some ways to his predecessor, also distinguished himself with different interests and skills.

Influenced by his new partner's chief extracurricular interest of healthy living, Mike Stone suggested that he, along with his daughter Jeannie, Dan and Steve, spend the weekend camping and enjoying the fresh air away from the stresses of the city. It had been one of the first times the four had been together for any length of time beyond a quick dinner or cup of coffee. It was also the first real social engagement of any magnitude that Steve had attended since the shooting.

Arriving at Muir Woods, the foursome selected a remote and level campsite with great views of the woods and a small lake nearby. Trails, wildlife and California's prized redwoods surrounded them. The group set up two tents: one for Mike and Jean; the other for Dan and Steve. The fresh air was welcome to all, but especially for Steve who appeared to benefit the most.

Indeed, his first night's sleep in the tent was the best he'd had since perhaps before his time on the force and certainly after the shooting. The last awake, he greeted his fellow campers at breakfast and eagerly enjoyed the bacon, eggs and coffee that Mike had made for three of the four campers. He was amused at Dan, who enjoyed a bowl of oatmeal and wheat germ with fresh fruit.

Later, when Dan mentioned the five mile hike on nearby marked trails, Steve replied that he still wasn't up for that much physical activity and would need to take a pass. Mike jumped in. 'Yes, we figured that, but no worries. That's why you and Jeannie are going to do the fishing and catch us something for lunch while Dan and I go.'

Stunned that he and Jeannie were left to provide food for the group, Steve glanced at his fellow fisherman with a 'what are we going to do?' look. Already prepared, she smiled as she handed him a pole set with bait. In no time, they walked down to the small lake together in search of trout and blackfish.

* * *

The first hour of their endeavor was focused on picking the right location and establishing a good rhythm with the fishing. They had good success. Jeannie, no stranger to the outdoors, held her own and caught three blackfish compared to Steve's two. When things quieted down, Jeannie wanted to ask Steve something that had been on her mind for some time: how he was really doing.

He, of course, said, 'Fine' and pretended not to understand what the concern could be.

Jeannie called him out. "I don't believe you. You're not nearly as active as you used to be and you're a lot quieter. Come to think of it, you're not as active as when you first came out of the hospital. What gives?"

Hemming and hawing, Steve eventually admitted that everything changed for him after the shooting. "I'll never be 100% of what I was."

"What do you mean?" Jeannie asked, surprised at the tinge of bitterness in Steve's answer. In the months following his departure from the police force, he had done nothing but portray an optimistic view of his future but then had gone quiet in recent months.

"I can't do anything very strenuous and there's always going to be that risk that something may happen," he responded nervously.

"But they fixed your heart, right? There was little damage." Jeannie was the eternal optimist.

"They did what they could, but yes, there was more than a little damage. There could be problems down the line," Steve sighed as he paused for a moment. "I just feel like my future is limited. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be alive and I am in a good spot with my new job, but outside of that, there are limits."

Jeannie felt as if he was bordering the line between reasoning and resignation. "Well maybe you won't run any marathons, but I think you can have a normal life. You can marry, have kids, run them all around and we'll make fun of you as we watch your hair turn grey just like everyone else." Expecting a laugh or at least a smile, Jeannie was surprised at the seriousness in Steve's voice.

"I doubt it. Jeannie, I can't see burdening someone with my heart condition. I may not be there for them in the long run." Steve fixed his gaze at the lake looking to see if there were any fish trying to bite. He could feel Jeannie's stare almost as intensely as the sun heating the back of his shirt.

Not knowing what to say, Jeannie sat still holding her fishing pole tightly, fighting back the urge to shed a tear or two. She didn't realize that things were that serious. "But that can't be. You're Steve Keller. You've survived everything that's been thrown at you. You can't stop living now. You could have 50 years or you could have five. We're all in that boat. You should enjoy it as best as you can."

"Yes, but I can't get involved with someone only to let them down. It's only fair."

"You don't know that you would let them down."

"There's a good chance. Oh, I'm not saying that I'm going to be a monk," he admitted with a sly grin. "I'll probably turn into a bigger cad than I already am. Maybe instead of a relationship lasting two months, I'll end it at one."

"I thought you couldn't do anything very strenuous..." Jeannie countered, trying to make light of a situation that was breaking her heart.

"I'll let the ladies do the work," he joked but then felt immediately badly about the remark. It was an uncomfortable thing to say in front of the young woman whom he secretly treasured. "Sorry."

Jeannie's eyes widened. Instead of chuckling as she normally would, she simply nodded her head and tried to keep focusing on fishing. "But what if you meet the right woman? Are you going to deprive her and you of what may be destiny?"

"Destiny?" Steve asked bitterly. "I'll give you destiny. I believe I was given mine when I made the mistake last September. You remember the one – letting my guard down on a vicious killer simply because she looked so innocent? You know, Jeannie, Barbara Ross didn't succeed in killing me, but I have paid for that mistake with my life."

Jeannie held her breath as he continued.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't relive that night. The flash of the gunshot, the pain. Oh my God, the pain. The bullet broke my sternum and then if that wasn't bad enough, the surgeon cracked my sternum from top to bottom to get to the bullet. You will never know the pain it was for that bone to knit back together. But the worst is that I see the scar every day - it goes up to my collarbone and then practically down to my navel. It's a reminder of that horrible night that tells me I shouldn't even be here. When I think about it, I'd probably scare some poor girl to death the first time she saw it."

Jeannie fought back tears as she heard Steve berate himself and deny his own future. "Stop! Just stop, okay?" A few tears spilled over. She whipped her head around to deny him the chance to see her cry.

Her actions failed. He saw the tears and immediately sunk in shame. "I'm sorry, Jeannie." He took a deep breath and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I would never want to hurt you," he whispered. He sat in silence, but then finally laid the fishing pole to his side, got up and walked away.

Seconds later, Jeannie heard Mike and Dan's voices booming through the woods. "Steve?" she called out before Mike and Dan could appear. Steve turned to her and they eventually met in an embrace as she caught up with him.

Before she could speak, he apologized again. "Jeannie, I'm so sorry. Look, forget I said anything. You're right. I'm the same old Steve. It just gets to me sometimes, but I'll be fine." He was lying through his teeth, but it broke his heart to see her cry.

It only underscored what he had been thinking all along the last few months. _I can't hurt Jeannie or Mike more than I already have._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the support for this story. Please bear in mind that as the story unfolds, I do not take lightly what Jeannie will go through. Rest assured that this will not be a death fic or anything even close.

This story was originally written last month as a writer's challenge for a camping trip (!) and the first chapter was going to be it - a simple one shot. But then I added more - and considering what October has grown to mean in the US (I won't spoil the end of the chapter here), I wanted to develop it.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Mike noticed Jeannie was nervous and not herself after he and Dan returned from the hike. She put on a good face as she and Steve cleaned and prepared the fish they caught, but Mike noticed that the two were working in parallel, not joking or even speaking. The eye contact between the pair was minimal and that continued through the rest of the weekend. Something was wrong; the senior detective knew his daughter too well. Still, he didn't want to cause a scene, but instead wondered if there had been a disagreement between her and his former partner - or whether there was something deeper going on.

Dan also noticed the change of atmosphere. "Everything okay?" Dan asked Steve when they had a moment alone.

"Sure," was the quick response with nothing more said. Dan got nothing more than polite small talk from Steve the rest of the weekend.

* * *

Several months went by, and Steve's participation in activities with Mike, Jeannie and Dan became fewer and farther between. It was a conscious decision on his part; he simply wanted to distance himself and protect the ones for whom he cared so deeply.

Generally, work commitments was his top excuse. At one point in the early summer, he volunteered to attend a criminology symposium for six weeks at the University of Maryland. The time away from San Francisco was a welcome change, but did nothing to undo the thoughts he now had about fully immersing himself in work and avoiding any serious social commitments. He would develop relationships at work, along with casual acquaintances and liaisons - but that would be as far as he would go.

Still, it wasn't as if he didn't think about the people he grew so fondly of in San Francisco - Mike and Jeannie, in particular. He thought so highly of them - and deep down he knew they were as important as family. But acknowledging that feeling meant that he wanted to protect them. Certainly he kept them in his thoughts and prayers - and would still call occasionally, but the idea was to retreat from the closeness of their relationship. The best way to protect them from any possible heartbreak that his health condition caused was to back away.

_Heartbreak_, he thought to himself. _I've had a lot of that both figuratively and literally. _The latter thought brought an ironic grin to his face. _I just want to spare them of the same._

* * *

Steve's ever growing absence in their lives did not go unnoticed by Mike. The situation saddened him. Over the weeks following the camping, Jeannie shed some light about the conversation at the lake which made her so upset. Mike knew his former partner well and knew that the wall he was building around himself would be increasingly difficult to break down.

_But perhaps over time..._ He vowed not to let Steve slip away that easily all the while giving him space to work through what he needed. _After all, he's been through more stress and trauma in the last year than most have in their lifetime. Not only did he nearly die, but the extent of his injuries will impact the rest of his life._

He detected still quite a bit of hurt, however, with this daughter - and for that he didn't quite understand as well as he did Steve's withdrawal. When they learned that Steve was working most of the summer in Maryland, Jeannie took it especially hard as she spent many of days following in a quiet funk. _Women,_ Mike finally concluded.

* * *

Steve returned at the end of July to prepare for the next semester at Berkeley. He felt better than he had in awhile; the time away served as more of an affirmation that he needed to disconnect. Now, the preparation for the next academic year gave him another excuse not to be overly social or reconnect with his close friends.

Mike called Steve on his return and the friends did manage to squeeze in a ballgame before the semester started. Then, there was silence. Steve immersed himself in his teachings, while Mike refocused his efforts to his job. There was a certain emptiness inside of the older man.

But that emptiness did not stay for long. Mike's world came crashing down when his daughter approached him weeks later.

With paleness and watery eyes, she whispered as she sat down at the dinner table, "Mike, I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it, Sweetheart?" Immediately, Mike felt a knot in the pit of his stomach.

"I found something. Oh, I just don't know how to tell you this," her voice quivered.

Mike dropped his napkin at the sound of the nervousness in Jeannie's voice. "Honey, tell me."

"I found a small lump on the side of my breast. I called our doctor and I'll be seeing him tomorrow." Remembering Jeannie's mother and what happened a dozen years before, Mike was crushed beyond words. Tears formed in his eyes. He jumped around the table and embraced his daughter in a bear hug. She too remembered her mother's experience and the fear and dread overcame her as she began sobbing in his arms.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

The doctor's appointment resulted in a hospital visit for a mammogram. It was the first time the twenty-five-year old woman had the test and she was worried. The process was something so relatively new that it wasn't around when her mother was ill. While she knew some women who had gone through the test, none of her close friends had.

Mike accompanied her for the screening and vowed he would be with her every step of the way no matter what the outcome. It was not something he looked forward to, but it was something he knew she and her mother would have wanted.

After the test, Jeannie was sent home to await the results.

* * *

Word came two days later via a call to her home in the middle of the afternoon. Upon hearing the nurse advise that she would need to be admitted to the hospital for a biopsy, she softly thanked the caller and hung up the phone. She took a deep breath before taking her next step. After gaining her composure and steady voice, she placed a call to her father who was was in his office working on recent homicide files.

* * *

Mike answered the phone, giving a quick glance up to Dan, who had just then walked in to discuss their current case.

"Oh, hello, Sweetheart. How is your day going?" Mike smiled as he spoke. His cheerful voice compensated the anxiety that threatened to flood back. When he learned that Jeannie had further news on her situation, he waved the younger detective out of his office.

Dan shut the door and took his spot at his desk. Pretending to focus on paperwork, he instead looked thoughtfully back at his boss's office and pondered what Mike was discussing with Jeannie. Mike's mood had been so miserable lately that Dan had recently confronted him. It was then that Mike confided what was happening with his daughter. Seeing the smile quickly fade to a look of deep concern, Dan feared the worst.

Minutes later, Mike walked out of his office and whispered to Dan, "She's going into the hospital tonight to have a biopsy done in the morning. I'm going to wrap up here and I'll see you in a couple of days." Dan nodded as his partner walked back in to his office and shut the door.

* * *

For the remainder of the day, Dan worked with the other detectives on the squad's caseload but was also consumed with worry about his partner whose only living family was his daughter. Should anything happen to Jeannie, Mike's world would be over - no doubt only an empty shell would remain.

Wanting to help as best he could, Dan's thoughts turned to Steve. While Dan had forged a solid friendship with Mike, the pairing was not as close as Mike and Steve's. Steve was special to Mike, and Dan had always assumed the feeling was mutual. Shortly after Steve left the force, Mike talked non-stop about his former protege': 'Steve did it this way; Steve thought things worked best that way.' Dan felt that everything he did was in comparison to his predecessor, which made him feel discouraged.

That ended mercifully when Mike realized the strain he had placed on Dan. Mike wanted nothing more than success for the new partnership and abruptly made an effort to place his focus on the present.

Still, Steve had been such a huge part of Mike's life - as well as of the department's - that Dan would occasionally inquire about Steve. That action sent a positive signal to Mike, which only enforced their budding friendship. Soon, the trio began meeting for a drink or dinner after work occasionally. Dan picked up on Steve's character at these engagements and soon learned to trust the young man. He eventually sought Steve out for on-the-job advice about how to handle the caseload as well as handling his new partner. The advice was priceless and the two young men began establishing a solid friendship. That was until Steve began giving excuses for no longer meeting.

Dan wondered what was happening. Mike explained what he thought was surrounding the turn of events that lead to Steve's withdrawal from his friends. Dan knew that Steve was still dealing with quite a bit of physical pain and emotional trauma.

But now, if Steve still cared about his former partner's daughter, would he be able to set that all aside? This seemed to be the time for Dan to confront Steve, whether the professor liked it or not. He should know about Jeannie's condition and Mike's anguish.

Dan resolved to pay a visit to his absentee friend that evening.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the continued support!

* * *

Dan climbed the multiple levels of steps to Steve's apartment all the while anticipating how the conversation would unfold. He hadn't seen Steve in months and figured that there'd be a polite exchange of updates that would occur, giving him time to assess his friend and refine his tactics.

He was greeted by a paler, but slightly heavier Keller. The clear, focused expression Steve wore a year ago as a cop had been replaced with one steeped in age, compromise and concession. Still in his dress shirt and tie from his earlier classes, the professor welcomed his visitor and invited him in.

After offering him a beer, the pair engaged in small talk and settled in Steve's small living room area. The former cop was particularly curious about how life was at the Bureau. He missed his old job more than he could imagine, but tried hard not to come off as jealous. _Oh, but if he could reverse time to before the Tannanger trial, he would._

Dan gave him the latest updates on the cases they had been working and the individual detectives who worked there during Steve's tenure. There had been quite a turnover within the bureau in recent months. Haseejian left for Vice while Healy took a role at the Academy as an instructor. Rumor had it that Rudy Olsen would soon retire. Bill Tanner remained, but newer faces in Homicide were the norm.

"Steve, aren't you going to ask about Mike?" Dan finally asked. He would have thought Mike's name would have been mentioned before now and was becoming annoyed with his host.

The direct question took Keller back. "Well, sure. How is the big guy? I haven't talked to him in weeks. We caught a ballgame last month, but..." Steve began casually.

That was the tipping point. "Yeah, I know about the ballgame, Steve. You met him at the game in the 2nd inning and left before the 7th inning stretch. Mike was very disappointed." Dan couldn't help but roll his eyes in exasperation. Mike felt abandoned when Steve excused himself to go home.

"Well, I got caught in traffic coming over to the game that day and then I knew I had to get to the school early the next morning. The commute can be a challenge sometimes."

It was lame excuse, Steve knew, but his motivation for being out with this friends, even those that he considered family, was simply gone. He wasn't sure if Dan had responded because now he was lost in his own thoughts. Quietly, he berated himself and felt badly that he was not playing it straight with his guest. Instead, he was coming off like an uncaring, self-centered oaf. When he noticed the dialogue had ended and there was an awkward silence in the room, he caught the worried look on Dan's face and correctly surmised that it had nothing to do with him. "Something's happened, hasn't it?"

"Something's happened? Yeah, you can say that." He paused for a moment to let Steve catch up with the turning tide of the conversation.

"What's wrong? Is he sick?" Steve asked, now somewhat embarrassed.

"Steve, I struggled coming out here. I'm not sure if it is my place to tell you this. I mean, with the new job and all, you've stepped away from the department and Mike," Dan began.

"It's work related? Is he in trouble?" Steve interrupted.

"No, it's not work related. Look, if you've moved on, okay. But I thought you would want to know. Mike..."

"My God, he _is _sick. What is it? Is it his heart? Cancer?" The anxiety in his voice clearly showed.

"It's not Mike, Steve. It's Jeannie. She may have breast cancer. She's been going through quite a bit of testing to get a firm diagnosis." Dan said no more.

Steve felt sick. The image of Jeannie entered his mind: young, smiling with blue eyes that touched his heart. "It can't be. She's only twenty five," he said as he ran his hand through his hair and then looked nerviously around until a thought struck him. "You said she '_may have' _breatst cancer and was still being tested - so there's a chance she's okay?"

"Mike said that she found a lump and then needed to go in for a biopsy. She was admitted to General tonight. They'll do the biopsy tomorrow and then she'll know later," Dan explained.

"Poor Jeannie. And Mike, my God, I can't imagine what he's going through. You know about his wife, right? Helen? She died from breast cancer years ago."

"He's told me." Dan was a little put off by the insinuation that Mike might not have told him about his wife's death. They were, after all, partners and after spending hours on end with the man, had grown close.

Another awkward pause took hold. Dan looked critically at Steve as the former detective slowly realized what was happening. "She does everything right. She doesn't smoke or drink. She's not overweight; she's actually quite fit. And she's Mike's anchor. He can't lose her."

"No, he can't. He already lost one anchor." Dan paused. "Losing her would do him in."

"What do you mean he's already lost one anchor? Oh, yes, Helen. Yes, to go through this again is a curse." Steve asked.

"That's not what I meant," Dan commented as he secretly wanted to wring Steve's neck. Steve's furrowed brow confirmed the confusion. "Are you that thick, Professor? You were family to him and you walked away. I get that you don't want to cause them any hurt because of your heart condition. He recognizes that too and has tried to give you your space. But while you are giving away your future on something that _might_ happen, Mike is dealing with the here and now. He's dealing with the idea that he may lose his daughter."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

At twenty minutes past eight, the hospital visiting hours were nearly over. Steve noticed that the hall lights were already dimming and saw other visitors exiting through the front lobby. He quickly checked with the Information Desk for Jeannie's room number and made his way up to the 3rd floor.

A nurse stopped him as he was entering. "Visiting hours are almost over, and we just gave Miss Stone a sedative. She was very anxious and we need her to get a good night's sleep."

"Yes, ma'am," he quietly replied as he nodded to the nurse. "I'll just be a minute. I want to wish her good luck for tomorrow."

"Okay, but quickly," the nurse conceded.

Jeannie heard voices near the door and wondered if they were talking about her. Mike had left moments earlier and she couldn't imagine who it could be. Her head felt heavy on the pillow as she turned to face her visitor. "Steve?" she asked as fatigue was only beginning to set in.

"Hey, Jeannie. I just came by to see how you are doing." He forced a smile as he neared the bed. The young woman reached out to grab his hand. He responded by squeezing her hand tightly and then sat close to her on the edge of the bed.

"I'm okay. I'm having a biopsy tomorrow, but I guess you know that," she said as a sad look crept across her face.

"I heard...and you'll be fine. You have to keep a positive thought." He tried again to put on a warm smile as he still held tightly to her hand.

"I know. I'll admit I'm scared. It's been hard not knowing. And then when I think about my mother and what she went through..." She fought hard to not let another tear well in her eyes. She was determined to stay strong for him.

"It's too early to think about that, Jeannie. Besides, while your mom had the disease, don't forget that you are the daughter of Iron Mike. If you inherited half of his constution, you've got this one nailed."

She giggled at Steve's joke and then looked at her friend. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been around." He gently pulled her hand up to his lips and bowed his head for a moment. "I can't stay." Pulling back, a slow smile spread as he saw her growing drowsy.

"Don't go," she whispered as she fought to stay awake.

"You're tired and need your rest. Besides, the nurse is going to kick me out." He leaned over and gave Jeannie a peck on the cheek.

"Steve," she began.

"What is it?"

Her eyes became too heavy and she started to drift. He could barely hear her response. "I want you back in our lives."

He stood and watched as she fell deeply asleep. "Me, too." He felt a lump in is throat as he stroked the side of her cheek. "Sleep well, babe." He turned to leave the room but then stopped in his tracks.

The two men didn't speak until Mike broke the silence. "I left my hat on the window sill," he said as he walked over to retrieve the fedora. "I didn't expect you to be here."

Mike looked at his sleeping daughter, wanting nothing more than to take away the anxiety and any bad news the test results could have in store for them. As tears welled in his eyes, he said, "I just pray it goes well tomorrow for her." He looked over to his former partner who stood still looking, too, at Jeannie, noticing that the younger man had his hand resting on his chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Steve answered quietly. The reality was that he was genuinely moved by the young woman's situation and also prayed for her wellbeing. He had subconsciously placed a hand over his heart in response to his feelings. Nothing more.

"Gentlemen, visiting hours are over," the nurse said as she saw the men through the door. The pair exited after Mike kissed his daughter on the forehead.

They walked down the corridor in silence. There were so many questions Mike wanted to ask Steve, but he didn't know where to start. Likewise, Steve wanted to apologize for his absence especially at a time when Mike clearly needed support. As they walked through the hospital entrance and into the parking lot, Steve turned to his mentor. "Mike, I'm sorry. I've not been a good friend lately. Jeannie's illness drove that home to me."

"How did you find out?" Mike asked. He was relieved that Steve took the first step.

"I only just heard about it," Steve responded quietly.

"Yes, but how?"

"A friend paid me a visit." Steve hedged and didn't want to suggest anything that would violate the trust that Mike and Dan had built through the past year.

"A friend? Anyone I know?" Mike pressed further but secretly knew that his new partner had apparently tried to bridge the gap with the old.

"Does it matter? Look, it was a wake up call that needed to be made." Steve said with some agitation. It wasn't directed at Mike, but to himself.

"I see. Well, hotshot, let me ask you this..." he paused for a moment while Steve looked at him curiously. "Do you have time for some coffee?"

Steve smiled warmly. "Sure, I'd like that. Where do you want to go?"

"My place," Mike answered assuredly. "Follow me back and I'll make a pot of decaf. It's not like I'm going to get much sleep tonight, but I don't need a caffiene buzz."

A half hour later, the pair were seated in Mike's living room sipping on a couple of mugs of coffee and eating cookies that Jeannie had baked before she left for the hospital.

"Except for the ballgame last month, I've hardly seen you at all," Mike began.

"About the ballgame. Mike, I'm sorry that I just swooped in and out," Steve quickly countered.

"You had your reasons," Mike responded defensively.

"My reasons were lame. The fact is that I just haven't wanted to be with people lately. At least not in a social setting." Steve sighed and looked down on the floor.

"Since when am I 'people'?" he asked half seriously.

"You're right. You are definitely more than that. Frankly, I've just lost the drive to do things. I'm just trying to keep myself occupied without causing too much trouble."

Mike noticed the fatigue across Steve's face and thought there might be something more. "You got the weight of the world on you or something?"

"Something like that." Steve wanted to avoid the conversation that he knew was about to unfold.

"What? Does this have to do with your health?" Steve remained silent on the subject and that made Mike nervous. "I know that you had damage from the bullet. What haven't you told me? Is there more?"

"Well, my heart was weakened from the damage and you knew that. Initially, the cardiologist was hopeful that it would, for the most part, heal itself. Unfortunately, the tests have shown that the healing hasn't really occured. The chamber that was hit had more damage that was first realized and where they mended it, there's some scarring that's caused a problem. "

"I know you've been trying to be careful and have backed away from a lot. But I always thought that this was part of the recovery process for you. Lenny said that in addition to the physical side of things, that there would be a lot of emotional healing for you to go through. I just thought you needed more time to recover," Mike reasoned.

Steve sat silently and looked down.

"Steve?"

He quietly responded. "There's not much to recover. Unfortunately, the situation isn't good." Steve regretted he said that much as he saw the worry cross Mike's face, but his dear friend and mentor needed to know. _My God, Mike. I don't want to put you through this, especially if you have to worry about Jeannie too. _


	6. Chapter 6

Steve's words left Mike saddened. The younger man looked over to his long time friend and saw him struggle to maintain his composure. Mike usually had words of wisdom for every occasion, but at the moment he was at a profound loss. After a moment, he said, "I didn't know, Steve. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's taken me a bit to process what's happened myself, let alone talk to someone else about it," Steve conceded.

"What exactly did your doctor tell you? Did he tell you that you're...I can't say it." Tears filled Mike's eyes as he quickly looked away. Steve noticed and was deeply touched.

"Thank you for that." Steve needed a moment himself and took a deep breath. He was determined not to break in front of Mike. "So you know that I was seeing the cardiologist every month for a check up. All was going as expected until a few months ago.

By that point, the inflammation was down and it was only then that they were able to see the full extent of what had happened. Where they operated, scar tissue formed. It's caused a bit of blockage, but the main thing is that the scarring doesn't contract, so my heart is weaker and not pumping as much."

Mike still made no eye contact with Steve, but asked to hear more. "So what did they tell you?"

"Well," Steve said with this bravest voice, "they ran more tests, of course. But at the end of it all, the cardiologist called me into his office and said, 'Look, there's something you should know. Your heart is weak and you need to understand that this is going to impact your life.' I didn't fully understand what he meant until he said that I needed to be careful in making choices for the long term. Then he asked me if I was married or had family."

"So was he suggesting that you simply roll over and die?" Mike was getting angry.

"Not exactly. But the point he was making was that there is a good chance I'm not going to finish what I start. Getting married and having a family is just setting someone up for heartache. It's devastating to think about, but that's the gist of it."

"How long?" Mike asked with an unsteady voice.

"Do I have?" Steve finished the question. "I don't know. It could be months or years."

"You mean you could live a normal lifespan?" The older man jumped on any hope he could hear.

"The chances of that are fairly remote. But yeah, that's the killer, pardon the pun. I could live several years basically waiting to die while some poor schlep next to me walks in front of a bus and gets killed. I'm not sure that's how I want to live."

Mike contemplated the situation. "So what are you going to do?"

"Well, I stopped going to the doctor," Steve said defiantly to Mike's surprise. "Do you know how hard it is to show up to a doctor knowing that the news is nothing but bad?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. I used to take Helen to her appointments. She tried treatments, but only because there was an outside chance that she would respond."

"I'm sorry to bring back that memory for you - especially now that you are dealing with Jeannie's situation."

Mike ignored Steve's apology. "But you stopped going to the doctor? Isn't that dangerous?"

"Maybe."

"And you've gained weight. In your case, I don't know if that's good or bad." His partner had always been on the thin side, especially when they first starting working together. As the years passed, Steve filled out to a good weight. But looking at him now, Mike couldn't decide if his friend now looked bloated.

"Probably not a good thing," Steve commented as he deliberately avoided confessing this Mike that he was not eating well and drinking more than he should. "But honestly Mike, I don't want to deal with this anymore. I've thought about it and I can't take going back to the cardiologist and hearing how I should be planning not to commit myself to anything beyond grading this semester's papers."

"That bastard doctor. What kind of bedside manner is that? Have you gone for a second opinion?"

"No."

"Well, why not? Are you just going to take this lying down?"

"Yeah, maybe. I just don't have the capacity to deal with it anymore. I should have died that night, but for some reason I was spared. It's been a long road to get here and frankly, it's been too much - all I want to do is live my life quietly and when it's my time to go, fine." By the time Steve finished he was barely audible.

Anger surfaced again only this time it was with Steve. _How dare he give up like this on his own. _"Why didn't you tell me?" the Lieutenant barked.

"This is not your fight, Mike. And besides, there's nothing the great Lieutenant Stone can do," Steve said as he watched Mike raised his eyebrows. "But I appreciate that you'd want to."

"Of course I'd want to and I'll not accept the fact that there's nothing I can do. Buddy boy, you've dealt with this all on your own. I know that makes it ten times harder. You need someone with you - and I think you need a second opinion."

Steve looked at him with a crooked expression, but said nothing.

"When was the last time you went to the cardiologist?" His tone was now more reasonable.

"Three months ago."

"Okay, you make an appointment for your current cardiologist and I'll go with you. And then let's find you another doctor who could give you a second opinion," Mike suggested.

"Mike, I appreiate what you are trying to do, but you've got other things to worry about. Jeannie, for one."

"Jeannie is exactly the reason I'm doing this. At best, she would kill me if something happened to you," Mike quickly answered. "And at worst, well, my little girl needs you and all the support she can get if she has to wage her own survival battle."

Steve could do nothing more than nod. He saw what Mike was doing. It broke the older man's heart to see his daughter and the young man he considered a son battling for their lives. But instead of cracking, Mike was circling the wagons and putting together an action plan for them all.

"Hey," Mike said as he reached over and shook the back of Steve's neck as he done so many times in the past. "You got somewhere to go in the morning?"

"No, my first class is in the middle of the afternoon. Tuesdays and Thursdays are late days."

"All right then. It was going to be a little too quiet here anyway, so why don't you take the spare room and then tomorrow morning, we'll go over to the hospital first thing and be there while Jeannie is having the biopsy? They told me earlier that she might be able to go home by noon if there are no complications. She'd love it if you were there."

Steve's first reaction was to go along with Mike, but then remembered that Jeannie was a young woman who might consider her father's former partner's presence an intrusion. "Are you sure she wouldn't mind? You know, this is a very personal thing she's going through."

Mike sighed. "And who was by your side when you were in the hospital last year? It wasn't me, Buddy boy." Mike remembered feeling as though he abandoned Steve once the critical medical crisis had passed. The reality was that he found it hard to face Steve after nearly losing him. Mike felt so many emotions during that time that he chose to focus on work and breaking in a new partner instead. "Did you feel it was too personal for her to be with you then?"

"No. Actually, it meant a lot for her to be there. She came by every day no matter what. Sometimes we talked. Sometimes I wasn't in the mood to talk, but she was still there making sure that I knew I wasn't alone."

"Well then..." Mike added.

"You're right. I don't have any place better to be," Steve answered with a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeannie was called to her doctor's office a few days after the biopsy. She was disheartened to hear that her physical presence was required at the visit. _Why wouldn't they just call me with the results if there were no problems?_ she asked herself.

Mike mirrored Jeannie's concerns and was beside himself with worry. When the day came, he accompanied his daughter to the appointment while Steve and Dan stayed behind at his house. At least then, if there was any bad news to share with them, it would be done privately within the confines of his home.

When Mike and Jeannie returned, both Steve and Dan rose to greet them as they walked through the door. While the younger men were uncertain of the outcome, they were quick to form an opinion. Jeannie appeared to have on a brave face while Mike looked like he was in shock. _Not a good sign_, Steve thought as he looked over to Dan. He felt ill.

"Well?" Dan asked his pale partner. "Is she okay?"

"_She_ is fine," Jeannie added defiantly and sharply. Mike placed his hat on the hat rack and walked across the room to hang his coat.

"Well, that's good, isn't it?" Steve asked diplomatically as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

"The doctor said there was good news and some not-so-good news. The good news is that Jeannie's biopsy was negative," Mike replied.

"Well, terrific!" Steve exclaimed, although he was confused on what the other news could be.

"That's wonderful, Jeannie," a more reserved Dan declared.

"The not-so-good news is that Jeannie may be - how did the doctor put it? - genetically predisposed to have problems - breast cancer - later. He said she needs to be vigilant about keeping on top of the situation." With that, Mike shook his head and drifted to the sofa to sit down. Both Dan and Steve saw the devastation on their friend's face.

"But that doesn't mean that you will..." Steve began as he turned toward the young woman.

"Steve," Jeannie began, "it's possible. I mean, it's more than possible. I've always known that. The type of cancer my mom had...and her mom had, I might add... has a high genetic factor."

"I never even thought about this," Mike added as he stared down at the floor. "I mean, you would have thought I would have considered it, but I was in such denial that anything could ever happen to her."

Dan and Steve gave each other a quick glance. Dan took a spot on the sofa next to Mike, while Steve walked over and wrapped his arms around the young woman. "You'll be fine. You're the toughest chick I know."

Resisting the temptation to give into his embrace, she instead showed her grit. "I've known about this situation my entire life. I've prepared for it. Why do you think I bike ride and exercise as much as I do? You know me. I cook good foods and I don't drink or smoke. I do a self exam weekly in the shower. I do all that to give myself a better shot at staying healthy."

The look of sympathy she received from the men in the room fueled her fire. "I'm a fighter. If you don't know that by now, then maybe you three aren't the detectives I thought you were."

"Well, I _am_ a little out of practice," Steve shrugged as he sought to diffuse Jeannie's rising agitation. He showed a smirk with his mouth, but his eyes still held the sympathy.

"I'm going to stay on top of this. And if the worst does happen, I'm not going to roll over and die, Steve." Jeannie said, uttering the phrase that her own father had said to him days earlier. The conversation came back to Steve in a flash, remembering what Mike had asked about the conversation he'd had with the cardiologist . _Does he expect you to roll over and die?_

Steve thought for a moment about what it all meant. While he had been willing to duck out of his own fight, Jeannie would give it her all. "You are without a doubt, the bravest woman I have ever met," Steve said as he wrapped his arms around the younger woman again. "You are my hero."

This time she allowed herself to bury her head in his shoulder as he held on tightly. Steve asked, "What else did her doctor say?"

Mike responded as he ticked off a mental checklist, "She must go back for frequent check-ups - and the mammogram test - she'll need to have that on a yearly basis. And then she'll need to keep up with the self exams like she did this last time."

"Well, if I can help in anyway," Steve began and then corrected himself. "Not the self exams," he added with a blush, "although, if push came to shove and she really needs..."

Dan rolled his eyes. "Steve, I think you'd better stop." Jeannie pulled back and looked at her friend. The grin on her face lit up the room. Even Mike didn't mind Steve's impertinence.

Steve grinned and said,"Okay, let me try again. If you ever need a ride to an exam or need someone to be there with you, you can count on me."

Mike was elated to hear Steve committing to something for the future. "Speaking of exams, have you called your cardiologist?"

"Not yet, but I will."

"You'll do it now," the older man ordered as he pointed to the rotary phone that sat on the end table next to the sofa. "And remember, I'm going with you. I clearly have a new purpose in life - keeping you two healthy." Looking at his partner, he added, "And let's not forget you, Daniel. I'm here to watch your back and keep you safe."

Dan responded with a smile as he took stock of his three friends in the room, "I'll definitely do the same for you. Too much depends on it."


End file.
